So the other night I was playing some Call of Duty 4 (henceforth to be referred to as COD 4, because only Noobs call it by it's full name) with "Pa" & "Xcel" and I noticed that I had leveled up quite a bit! I am a decent player, but my stats never got so good so quickly. It was very confusing... At first I thought to myself, "Well, Mr. Wallet (I always refer to myself in the third person)... you must be as good as your stats say! You do have cat like reflexes and a hair trigger. And you are pretty handsome (not that that has anything to do with video games)! You must have improved without even noticing." So, I felt pretty good about myself.

Then the other day I faked like I was really sick so I could get out of work early and play some COD 4. When I got home I set down my leather briefcase and hung up my derby and slicker and let out the obligatory, "I'm home!" There was no reply. Morgan was napping.

That's when I went into the family room and discovered the truth about my stats. It was then I heard the guttural outbursts of , "Ya, take that and like it!", "Oh, snap", "Woot" and "Where did that guy come from?"

It was Devan Grace, and she had been sneaking out of her bed during nap time to get her fix. I was shocked, confused and mostly mad... because how did she learn to snipe like that!